PSA: A Friendly Reminder

Don’t be an idiot like me.

I’m a fan of The Dresden Files, I’m a fan of supporting book stores. The Dresden Files is a long series, and I lose track of names. I only pass by Barnes and Noble once in a while because it’s in another town from me. 

I stopped by Friday and found the sixth DF book, thinking I hadn’t read it already. I did, so I had to come back today and return it while still waiting to get the next book,  and some young teens are making out somewhere in here. Help me.

The fuck is this?


70. Fallout Fan Fiction – My Worst Nightmare

When you spend enough time on the weird parts of the internet, nothing seems to surprise you anymore, yet nothing takes away or numbs the ever growing sense of disappointment in humanity you feel. Browse for ten minutes and you’ll wish the cold war would have ended very differently. Well, in relation to nuclear annihilation, there is a whole subcategory on there of Fallout fan fiction, and after spending the last few months playing the main titles, this hits close to home. Nothing is sacred to these people, huh?
Fallout and certain video games like this come as tricky territory when it comes t o fanfiction. There’s plenty of fan game/mods in development that have their own stories based off of the loose lore. The only thing separating them from a fan game/fan fiction and a real game is the Bethesda publication. Add to the fact that Fallout is a roleplaying game. It’s intended for you to make your own story out of it. There are examples on here where people are going out of their way to make their own lore put of unexplored areas. Whether good or bad, I sort of commend this. There’s a lot of unused areas that can be explored, and I don’t have much of a problem with this. With that out of the way, let’s find a shitheap.

Project Wanderer is an abortion by one of the only faggots that chose The Railroad in FO4, which I have no clue why someone would. “My toaster has rights! Boohoo, Institute so mean!” FO4 deserves its own article on here, Bethesda can’t hire a good writer for shit. Anyway, the first chapter is literally just the writer describing the first ten minutes of that abortion of a game, with some strange hard on for Deacon spying. I found myself increasingly bored with the chapters as it’s just a description of the first half hour. As if that first half hour wasn’t boring on its own. As if Bethesda can write a game. As if Bethesda shouldn’t just give Obsidian the rights to Fallout. As if I have anything better to do than read this.

Now what is there to be said? The story’s crap, it’s boring. Not because this schmuck is a bad writer, in fact I’d say they’re squandering their talent here. But I don’t need to read a play by play of a shitty game with some backstory being created by the writer. Supposedly, Fallout 4 is a roleplaying game, keep your roleplaying to yourself, and do yourself a favor, try writing an original story.

69. Redshirts

Today I’m doing something a little different and going after something I actually like. John Scalzi’s Redshirts is a book I picked up after listening to one of the promotional songs for it. I am very much a Star Trek fan, so it was a no brainer that I’d read a comedic interpretation of the show, using the red shirts always die first cliché (which is actually false, someone did the math and found out yellow shirts died more often.) In the book, we follow someone assigned as a red shirt, which is basically a death warrant, yet he survives several close calls, and eventually meets a guy who knows they’re on an old TV show being stretched past its lifespan. Then they kidnap the book’s version of Spock, and head into the real world. They find a writer’s comatose son looks exactly like one of the main character’s friends, they strike a deal, replace him with the comatose one, bring him back to their dimension, and if you got lost reading my synopsis, then you can imagine how lost I got reading this.

The book, as enjoyable as it is, is ridden with flaws that needed to be addressed before publication. The first is that the main characters are indistinguishable. They all speak the same, don’t have physical descriptions, have the same motives, and ultimately come off as the same character unless their name is placed directly after the dialogue.

The characters left so little an impression on me that I cannot for the life of me remember their names, it took a trip to Wikipedia to jog my memory. I often found myself getting lost in the dialogue and having to start over because I forgot who was speaking.

The next bit is how overly complex the book quickly becomes. Scalzi attempts applying hard science fiction to what should have remained a simply comedic sci-fi novel. The plot becomes enough to make Asimov go cross-eyed from confusion, and Asimov wrote The Gods Themselves. Do you know how fucking confusing that book is?

It ends up making very little sense towards the end, mixed with the bland characters, you lose yourself in the plot in all the wrong ways.

When writing comedic science fiction, one should always look towards the genius himself, Douglas Adams, who created one of the most well-known space romps to ever exist. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was both creative, entertaining, and never confusing. Adams actually hated science fiction, and that’s why it never delved into trying to scientifically explain what is in reality just a technological fantasy novel. Asimov was able to apply real science to his writing because Asimov had studied biochemistry, so he had a grasp. Scalzi’s novel falls closed to The Hitchhiker’s Guide than The Foundation, and his flaw was trying to mix elements of the two. But at least it wasn’t a time travel story.

Plans for my blog, and things.

So it dawned on me that it’s been two weeks since I made a post, even though I had started one two weeks back. This week has been devoted mostly to working, but I do plan on getting a post up, hopefully hy the end of the day or tomorrow.

Next, I’m aiming to start regularly posting on Fridays.

I think I’ll delve into the truly disgusting soon and find an erotica to read. There’s definitely no shortage of them to find, and I have no doubts the majority is delightfully cringeworthy.

Finally, I have plans on starting a YouTube channel with similar content, if that’s something any poor schmuck who follows this blog is interested in. I already have plans for the first video, and am just waiting for funds for a mic rig.