63. Jack – I Feel Bad for Writing About This One

Preface: I feel like no one should actually read this review. I feel dirty after it.

I’m not an artist. I mean, technically I am, writing is an art, even if it isn’t very artistic writing, but I’m not an artist. I can’t draw for shit. Maybe if I practiced more, but writing is easier for me. I applaud anyone who can draw, and I especially applaud anyone who can draw and write. I have immense respect for anyone who makes a comic on their own, because it’s hard work, and takes balls to post, but when it’s crap, well, I don’t despise the author, unless it’s a blatantly bad and lazy comic (Ctrl+Alt+Del), holds crappy, backwards ass messages (Dumbing of Age), or has furries in it.

Webcomics are probably the ultimate form of crappy self-publishing, writing is a hard field, comics are a hard field, but for every good comic you find, there’s ten bad ones, if I’m  being generous with my made up statistics. So I took a little stroll through the bad comic wiki, which is almost as addicting as TVtropes, and I picked a furry comic, of course. Why wouldn’t I?

Jack.

“This comic is an atomic bomb. It will destroy anything and anybody that touches, reads, or looks at it. This comic is an example of the downfall of civilization, leaving a trail of nothing but destruction, deformed mutations and cancer in its wake. Pray you, avoid it.” –Badwebcomicswiki, they’re making it sound like my kind of comic.

I’ve read My Immortal and Sonic High School, sat through the Pain Olympics, watched The Room, and eaten bland Brussel Sprouts, I can do this.

One page in and we already start fucked up, as we’re shown a fetus thinking. Thankfully I was scarred as a child by those comics the Invader Zim writer made, so this is just making me laugh. Also, this is colored with colored pencils, and this guy can’t write, something I expected from someone who makes horror, gory, furry porn comics.

So the fetus is named “Fnar,” and he’s a stillborn. Jack, the titular character, is a green canidae type furry, who is the Grim Reaper I guess? Well, Fnar’s mom is in hell, and he’s going to live with her.

That was just the first arc, the next one starts with a Columbine-esque furry, who goes to shoot up the school. It was at this point where I questioned my own sanity, and then continued reading. So, I was told there would be gore, but something about colored pencils just doesn’t do it for me. Oh yeah and this school shooter is wearing a Korn shirt. Well, his reign of terror gets put to an end by some purple rabbit that’s called the “NRA Preacher.” Side note, people in this comic are referred to as “fur” and “some fur.” And then he gets dragged to hell, and I’m not even going to describe this.

So, honestly, if you have a weak stomach this really isn’t the comic for you, like at all. If you have an aversion to furries, religion, gore, or have common sense, this isn’t for you. If you love yourself, stay away. But I haven’t cared much about reading or seeing fucked up shit, this was just boring for me. Boring and weird, oh so very weird.

This was a venture into the psyche of someone who is in need of severe psychiatric help, because it’s one thing to read these comics, but it’s another thing entirely to write and draw them. For your own good, dear readers, stay the hell away from this.

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