58. I Thought This Would be Funny. It Wasn’t.

There are 29,571 Naruto crossover fanfictions on Fanfiction.net. What do bleach cocktails taste like?

There are 2,300 Naruto Harry Potter fanfictions. What goes good with bleach? I’m thinking cranberry juice and orange juice.

Here’s an excerpt from the prologue:

Warning: This story is a mixture between cannon and AU containing a Sherlock like/ powerful fem Harry, character bashing, alive Severus Snape, nice Malfoys and all around occ-ness.

So this is a crossover fanfiction with a Rule 63 character, fucked up canon, is influenced by Sherlock, anime, and is a “Romance & Adventure.” I knew I was in for a wild ride, folks, and it could only go down from there. And by go down I mean 6 feet under.

Type: Fem Harry x itachi…Lovers

The fuck is an itachi? I’ve never watched Naruto because I’m not a fucking weaboo, when I watch anime it means the folks in hell are getting their snow gear.


So after getting through two chapters of introduction and backstory, which basically seem like the author’s notes, you learn that they

  1. Literally don’t give a shit about canon entirely.
  2. Have a mind made of spaghetti.
  3. Probably shouldn’t have internet connection. Or a computer. Or any modern amenities. Or pen and paper. I think lobotomies are in order. I definitely need one now.


The first real chapter is split into three parts, which made me dread this even more. Also, a side note, but fanfiction.net doesn’t let you copy and paste, I guess to avoid plagiarism, but that makes putting quotes in here even more annoying. And who the fuck wants to plagiarize Rainbowdash x Fem Dipper fan fictions? Why does that probably exist?

So after getting through the boring chapter that is nothing but flashbacks, I learnt that Snape is Rosemary’s (Harry’s) adopted dad, and something about France. I think. Wait, no, just Parseltounge. Looked French. But really, this is actually impossible to follow, as it’s flashback after flashback, with no cohesion whatsoever. I will give the writer credit, however, as in the third part of the first chapter, they make the most boring thing, bank statements and lists. Horrible.


So, after reading it, I realized that this wasn’t even funny bad. Just walls of text with no flow, and it bored me to tears. TO TEARS. Well, not tears, but overreaction is better than underreaction.


2 thoughts on “58. I Thought This Would be Funny. It Wasn’t.

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