Rule 34 of the Internet: If it exists, there’s porn of it. I kept this in mind when I put “Jesus Christ” into Fanfiction.net, for you know, the Christmas spirit and all. And so, I found Jesus Christ Superstar slash fiction. It’s sacrilege time.
First person Jesus perspective, this is a very awkward read to begin with. But the part that makes this funny, this doesn’t have any of the usual shit on this website. The grammar is mostly there, save for two mess ups, the detail, spelling, syntax. The only thing out of place about this is it’s erotica about Jesus. You read this and start to laugh to yourself because of how strange it is.
When I woke up this morning, I didn’t expect to read about Jesus describing Judas’s muscles. Or expected Jesus to be a bottom.
What I’m happy is that I didn’t have to read about Jesus getting fucked in the ass, but at a second glance, I would much rather have read about him getting fucked, because reading the immense detail of the mutual passion in their eyes, of their tongues wrestling, and his touch hitting of all Jesus Christ’s soft spots. I can’t even say “Jesus fucking Christ” in this bullshit because of this shit.
But really, what the hell did I just read here. I caught a glimpse of someone’s perverted fucking mind. Even if it’s not fan fiction of the Bible, it’s still Jesus fan fiction.
“Our passion had finally found its way, reaching higher and higher until nothing else mattered, leaving us drained of energy, feeling then ever.”
Not only is this odd, it’s as clichéd as any other shitty piece. I really wonder why I even looked this up.