24. Spongebob, TV Execs, and Psychopathy.

Fuck TV executives. No really, fuck them, they’re as bad as eighties stockbrokers; driving around in their fancy cars, snorting cocaine, making decisions to fuck everyone else over. They’re out of touch with their clients, and instead act in the interest of their wallets, throwing artistic integrity completely out of the window.

I’ve talked about seasonal rot before, and I ragged on Supernatural, but you know who’s worse than the CW? Nickelodeon. Oh lord, fuck Nickelodeon, and their star player, Spongebob Squarepants. Seasonal rot and cocaine addled executives didn’t just kill Spongebob, they killed it, tried to use Voodoo on it, and when that failed, they pulled a Weekend at Bernie’s with his corpse, using their dicks to puppeteer his corpse.

Originally posted by donrickles

           Who doesn’t love the first five seasons of Spongebob? Everyone does, even parents. 90s Nickelodeon was rife with dirty jokes and jokes for parents, so anyone can appreciate it. Especially when you look back after growing up.

Who doesn’t love the first Spongebob movie? Everyone does, because it was everything great about the first five seasons packed into a two hour romp.

Who likes post season five Spongebob? Children who don’t know better, but I’m starting to doubt that even they like them. This show has no more redeeming qualities anymore.

Originally posted by mtv

           Comedy? It’s got none. The jokes have been replaced with Squidward torture porn, gay Spongebob, and sadistic Patrick. It’s not tropes or stereotypes, these are the jokes.

How to Write a Spongebob Episode:

1.      Spongebob and Patrick are fucking around.

2.      Squidward is trying to enjoy himself.

3.      Spongebob is infatuated with Squidward.

4.      They annoy Squidward.

5.      Gross out face.

6.      Squidward gets fucked over.

Krusty Krab can also be used to mix up the plot.

It’s so odd what they’ve done to the characters. They make Spongebob obsessive over Squidward. It’s beyond the old joke of Spongebob wanting to be friends, it’s more akin to Spongebob wants to Buffalo Bill his neighbor.

Patrick became a sadistic psychopath, instead of an idiot. It seems he does everything just to spite others for gratification, yet he gets away with it.

Squidward is just the writers’ fetishes embodied, and it makes me very uncomfortable.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is filled with psychopathy, sadism, torture, and so much, yet it pales in comparison to the monstrosity that became Spongebob. These writers come off like Dahmer and Bundy writing a children’s book.

And of course seasonal rot means they ran out of ideas and are now just recycling, and the TV executives allow this to remain on life support, but it was more fun to compare the writers to murderers.


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