23. It’s Always Sunny in New Mexico

In internet time, one week feels like months, and a year feels like a decade passed by, so what happens when you find something from ten years ago? To find something from 2006 in 2016 is like finding an antique in your grandpa’s attic, but what I found is more akin to finding Nazi paraphernalia in your grandpa’s attic.

It’s Always Sunny in New Mexico mixes one of my favorite things, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, with two things I hate, High School Musical and fan fictions.

Now I’ll give this decade old dog turd some credit for originality, this thing is divided into a season, and roughly three chapters is an episode. I’ve never seen anyone do this before, so they get an upgrade from turd, to shiny turd.

Let’s cover the “episode” called Brokeback Fountain. Ha, you’re punny. Fuck off. The “synopsis” is “Ryan convinces Chad that he’s gay after the way that he sees him drinking from a fountain, Chad believes him and has to find another dude to kiss to find out for sure.”

Right off the bat, this person has no concept of how to write a script. They’re not even doing the British Stage format.

What they’re aiming for:

Character 1: Hey.

Character 2: What’s up?

Character 1 and 2 shake hands and go their merry way.

What they’re doing:

“Hey.” Character 1 said.

“What’s up?” Character 2 said. Character 1 and 2 shook hands and walked away.

This is some unholy bastard child of prose and play, and almost every line is like this. This actually hurts my eyes.

Time for a real analysis: The “writer” is trying to write High School Musical characters like they’re in IASIP, but how in the hell can you make Disney live-action characters into the sociopaths of IASIP? You can’t.

Maybe a plot revolving around convincing someone they’re gay could end up in an IASIP episode, and it might be funny, it sure as hell isn’t here. There’s no set up for the joke, and the scene is far too rushed for there to be any funny moments. It’s only about 12 lines before we get it dropped on us, when that should be set up time.

So Chad goes and tells his girlfriend he’s gay, after we get a scene that’s supposed to be funny, but falls flat. After that we get something that confused the shit out of me, but is supposed to be the theme song. They describe different scenes that happen with a song playing, and it made me realize that writing out how an intro would go is something you should never do, it’s just weird and complicated. Your fanfiction doesn’t need a theme song and intro. When I picture it, it comes out like some weird AMV montage from that time.

Also the song they use is “Walking on Sunshine,” and that reminds me of Futurama, which leaves me sad.

I wish I could find something funny in here, but as far as I can tell, this person just learned script format and went to go write for The Big Bang Theory, because unsurprisingly unlike IASIP, this fanfiction is a piece of shit that didn’t even make me laugh at how bad it was.

There’s not much left to critique here, the jokes aren’t funny, the format hurts my eyes, and the grammar is atrocious. The jokes fall flat because they’re just punchlines, no set up, and it’s all too rushed. The end. Go home. I never want to read this again.

Originally posted by tv-teachermothersecretlover


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