21. Don’t Write Romance

Want some advice? Don’t write romance, just flat out don’t. It’s such a clichéd genre, as in probably one of the most clichéd. What can you do new, when the genre is as old as we are.

But Shakespeare did it, and that came out great! (Yes, this is a strawman.)

1.      You’re not Shakespeare.

2.      Shakespeare was a pervert, and it all probably blew over your head.

But Nicholas Sparks is great! Romance sucks, Nicholas Sparks sucks, and it’s all clichéd.

Your premise is going to be people falling in love. Your story is going to be them:

·         Meeting for the first time and falling in love.

·         Breaking up, and then falling in love again.

You have no subversions, they’ve all been done. Are they gay? It’s been done. Are they interracial? It’s been done. Is one of them dead? Ghost did it first. Are they siblings? The Greeks did it first.

But who doesn’t like a good love story?

Who says you’re making a good love story? You’re not going to subvert any of the clichés, not by changing who the characters are, and not by trying to switch up the scenario. They’ve all been done, and you’re fitting the most basic model with little effort to change it.

Romance is also like erotica, how can you write about it if you don’t know about it? If you’ve never been in a relationship, or a good one at least, how can you write it for your characters? That’s like trying to write dialogue when you’ve never heard how real people speak.

Finally, literary romance has been dead since the 70s, ever since all those weird paperbacks came in (and they beat the dead horse with Fabio covers later,) and cinematic romance has been dead since the 80s.

Originally posted by champagnemanagement

Don’t write it folks.


Also, some bitch tried to fight me on Tumblr for this one. In case I need to clarify, obviously write whatever the hell you want, but I’m sure you didn’t come to this blog for positive advice.


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