17. Naruto x Sasuke Lemon

Lemon: An anime/manga or (anime/manga) based fan-work that depicts sexual acts.

-Urban Dictionary definition for “lemon”

Some days you wake up and you know something will be wrong, you don’t know what exactly but you’ve got a feeling that something is waiting in the shadows for you. For me, the creature in the shadows was slash fiction.

One of my favorite groups of people, weaboos, is quite prolific. They constantly hide in their corners of the internet (Tumblr, Wattpad, Fanfiction.net, and such) producing masterpieces of shite. They’re notorious for drawing and writing yaoi, the pairing of two male anime characters. The weaboos literally get off on watching anime boys go gay for each other.

As you can expect, the more popular an anime, the more yaoi there is, and Naruto is an awfully popular anime and manga. Naruto and Sasuke is a popular pairing because why the fuck not.

Starting this lemon, I’m thrown right into sex. Naruto and Sasuke had just spent the night together, and now we’re given an insight to Sasuke’s mind. He’s a horny bastard that can’t wait six minutes to get his dick wet. That’s all this is, Sasuke is horny and he can’t wait to get with Naruto.

When Naruto gets back, they start kissing.

“He tasted like ramen.”

The writer gets very intimate with the details for just kissing, they want you to really know how he kisses necks.

they start grinding, and Naruto is already ready to finish.

“Naruto let out a feral, animalistic growl as the Uchiha straddled him,” Feral, animalistic, choose one, they say the same thing. Also, this lemon is riddled with single Japanese words. This confuses me and makes me upset.

I kept reading on until I reached the part where Sasuke shoves three fingers where the sun don’t shine, and as the owner of a male anus, I can tell you: That sounds very unpleasant.

What the hell does dobe mean? What is this shit? Why did I read a lemon?

The grammar in this wasn’t atrocious, so it gets bonus points.

If you want to write erotica, by all means do it, but for the love of god know about guys (namely that you’re not shoving three fingers in there without lube, what the hell), and don’t use anime characters, or Japanese words.

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