14. C’est ne pas une Zombie

Horror tip time; if you are writing a story involving zombies, I already respect you less. In the last decade they’ve been incredibly overdone, and unless you’re Max Brooks, then you need to fuck off.

Originally posted by bad-tripping

But if you do decide to involve zombies, then do it right. What we know as the zombie nowadays is actually a ghoul, brainless, undead, rotting monster that feasts on live humans and carrion. A zombie is actually a brainless human slave, sometimes dead, from voodoo legend.

Originally posted by the-off

A voodoo zombie can be commanded to kill, but they don’t have any desire to eat human flesh like the modern idea of a zombie does.  I give The Walking Dead for never actually using the word zombie, but I can’t forgive them for the second season.

A zombie is a slave, with legend rooted in some reality, but when we write now, we don’t use that type of zombie, do we? No, no you don’t. Are you going to use the word vampire for a werewolf? They both kill people, right?

A zombie is not a ghoul, I’ll forgive Romero and Brooks, because they’re good writers, but it’s not 2010. You’re probably a shitty writer if you’re using the modern idea of a zombie, because they’re so goddamn overdone.

If one of you clichéd fuckers can go and create an original story with a voodoo zombie, then you’ll regain my respect (that probably means jackshit to you,) but you probably won’t. You’ll probably go home and sit behind your MacBook with your Starbucks coffee, pretend that you’re original, and write some romance set in a zombie apocalypse and then go post it on Wattpad, and give me more material to review because I hate myself.

So remember kids, ghouls are what you see in The Walking Dead and fight in The Witcher, zombies are the result of an evil witch doctor raising the dead to do his bidding and torment people, and Wattpad is a shithole.

Originally posted by myfoxesandroses

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