I have a simple question, “why?”
Why do I run this blog? Why am I a writer? Why do I torture myself with reading shitty writing? These are all very valid questions, but they’re not the ones I’m asking today. My question is: Why does any of this exist? Why is there fan-fiction, strange erotica, furry porn? I know why strange fiction like Eye of Argon exists, some weird nerd tried writing fantasy, but out of all the people I’ve reviewed so far, Jim Theis is the best because he actually tried making his own story, as badly as it flopped. But no, everyone else is the bane of my existence, because they make me sit through the worst writing and they can’t even humor me with original characters. It’s like I come knock on their door, and they fuck me in the ass without even saying hello and offering me something to eat. Nope, they just get straight to their horrible ass-fucking.
Fan fiction is the worst thing, because the “writers” avoid anything that made the original concept good (except in cases of things like Five Nights at Freddie’s and Homestuck, which were never good to begin with.) They don’t make fleshed out characters, they don’t delve into the lore, they don’t add anything but their own shitty self-inserts and absurd preconceptions of how a character should be. The question is, why. Why don’t these freaks even try?
“Oh woop de doo, look at me, I like Harry Potter so here’s how I think it should have gone with my four hundred page erotic romance of Snape and Voldemort brutally fucking Harry in their sex dungeon, and Snape and Voldemort are totally in love even though VOLDEMORT IS EVIL HAHAHA. Yeah and then Spider-man and Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony come in and fuck everybody! And then more needless sex! And then Harry loses a limb and Voldemort has sex with it because EVIL.” What I imagine goes on in the mind of a fan-fiction “writer.”
This was a nonsensical rant that I was far too sober for. Thank you and good night.