10. Mated to the Werewolf King

So Wattpad has a vampire and a werewolf section. I’m looking at werewolves this week, let’s fucking do it.

Mated to the Werewolf King, 9.1 million views, and according to the author: “despite the title and cover page, this is not your typical or cliché werewolf story.” Good to know, because announcing that you’re not clichéd absolves you from it.

Our main character is named Belle, and she learns she’s not the actual daughter of the alpha of the pack. Nitpick time: Lycanthropy is generally a curse affecting individuals making them mindless killers once in a while, why would they travel in packs? Fuck Twilight for making this mainstream (I’ll forgive the Dresden Files because Jim Butcher makes good use of different mythologies.)

These are most definitely Twilight werewolves, she can transform into a wolf at will. You get hit right away with her being “destined” to be with someone, and it’s built up that he’s just her type.

An annoying trend is the use of “Moon Goddess,” they’re wolves not Wiccans.

She can transform and keep her clothes on because reasons!

Her father is the… DEMON LORD. (Lord, kill me now, this is not an easy read.)

“Right then, there was a knock at the door. Sam went to open it and came back with Gregory. Hunky Gregory. Yummy.” Anybody using the word “yummy” for another person makes my skin crawl.

Gregory is hot according to Belle, but is shy and insecure. No clichés here folks, none at all! Woop de doop.

Belle’s family owns a 75 inch flat screen TV. Where the hell does the demon lord work, Wall Street? (Please laugh at my jokes.)

Big brother is overprotective of his sister, and Gregory is a rose amongst thorns.

Werewolf King is also a thing. He’s big and beautiful, and has magical powers that can affect all the werewolves. Ooooh, spooky.

They meet witches, yadda yadda, she’s the mate of some guy named Keith but then she’s not, turns out she’s the mate of Lasarus, and I actually don’t care.

I don’t care about any of these people. Maybe it wasn’t chockful of clichés like Angel of Fire, but it didn’t keep me on my toes. Oh, she gets paired with an abusive asshole but then goes through a few mates, that’s real original. The author claimed that the story picks up after a few chapters, but the problem is (besides that being a lie) that there’s nothing in the first few chapters to make me want to continue reading. It starts off so poorly and unoriginal, that I’m left wondering why I’m reading this besides me wanting to find cringe-inducing werewolf literature.

Also, these are not proper werewolves, these are closer to skinwalkers or shamans rather than “lycanthrope that tears you to pieces and is harmed by silver.”

Throwing in other mythical beings doesn’t make for good fantasy, and something about supernatural beings like werewolves and vampires don’t make for good romance. I’d rather read about some warty witch from the swamp falling in love with a tree nymph, and having bondage sex rather than this.

What is it about Wattpad writing that it’s so boring? So far it hasn’t even been bad enough to be entertaining, it’s just been bad.

P.S.: Why does this have a sequel? Who wanted more? Why is this so popular?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s