61. Movie Adaptations: I’m Slightly Upset About Them but not Really

Can we stop turning comics and books into movies? Just, please? They work so much better as TV shows, and you see it happening slightly, but there’s still more movie adaptations than anything else. It’s a cheap cash grab, even though no one likes going to the movies. You spend a couple million and receive more in return, ideally, unless your movie is absolute shit, and you start tarnishing the name of your studio.

I’d say the biggest problem is that books and comics have these things called stories, and stories take a while to finish because they involve character development. Trying to adapt that to two hours will usually fail, because two hours is nothing. If you devote an entire season, you actually get people attached. Just look at GoT if you need an example of that. Now, this isn’t to say that you can’t have compelling characters in a movie, but you’re more likely to see an original story succeed for that rather than an adaptation. Or, if it’s an adaptation, the writers are making their own plot, rather than vaguely copying several arcs of a comic or book series and throw them together. Yeah, I’m talking to you, Marvel and D.C., go fuck yourselves. D.C. can double fuck themselves, because at least Marvel movies are entertaining. Christopher Nolan was the best thing to happen to you. And it took him three movies to develop a character. And the third one sucked.

That’s what I call a tangent.

One of my favorite movies is Kingsman: The Secret Service. It’s a graphic novel adaptation made by someone who can actually adapt graphic novels, but upon seeing the trailer for the sequel, I was left thinking “Why milk it like this?” The movie was good, Mathew Vaughn is good, but if he just makes this a sequel machine, wouldn’t it be better to devote hours upon hours of screen time to do the plot justice? Or how much better it would be to actually see a superhero fail and train harder, watch them actually lose something, and then overcome it, rather than watch it get condensed to two hours? I think it would be, but I forgot that there’s no artistic integrity in all of Hollywood, money makes the world go round, and the Rothschild rule everything.

Wait, this isn’t Alex Jones’ show, scratch out that last one.

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